Poem #5

They Don’t Know

Lay your head against the pillow,

they think you’re asleep.

But sleep never comes easy.

Your mind never shuts off.

Ruminating. Ruminating. Ruminating.

But they don’t know.

Wear a smile,

pretend to be happy.

Hide the fact that inside you’re


But they don’t know.

They don’t know

how easy it would be

for you to lock yourself away,

stay in your apartment,

not stepping outside for anything.

A life spent on the couch.

Not worrying about anything.

They don’t know

how the things that come

so easily to others

for you, take all of your energy.

They don’t know.

They don’t know

that it catches up to you


your exhaustion.

It takes so much.

You give so much.

But they don’t know.

How could they?

Do you tell them?

Do you try to explain?


It’s easier this way.

They’ll never know

and you’ll never say anything.

And they don’t know.

But you do.


Poem #4


Heart racing,

Can’t get it under control;

Stomach hurting,

Feeling like a stranger has inhabited my body.


Trips to doctors,

One has a PhD and the other an MD;

Talking, endless talking,

The need to figure out why I am this way.


Passed down through the family?

Thanks, but no thanks;

This is a gift I’ll be returning,

My mind is never asleep.


Endless worry,

Consuming doubt;

The memories span years,

How sad it must have been for me as a child to be plagued with such fear.


It’s not something you talk about,

Too much stigma attached;

Ironic, since “normal” has never really existed,

And yet, nobody wants to be “crazy.”


Respite would be nice,

A way to escape;

But when what you want to escape is your mind,

That trip is a much harder one to take


Original Writing: Poem # 3


She’s sunken

Crawled up like a ball

She’s trying to keep her balance

And yet she’ll always fall

I hand her a blanket

to protect her from the chills

but she moves way from me,

grabs the bottle and gives up her will

To live;

To be happy;

To change;

To make things right.

I’m trying to be the hero

But I don’t know how

But she needs a hero

And she needs one now

Her childhood pains are still alive

Can’t slay the demons, can’t just cry

So what do I do?

Let her die?

I want to be her hero

And sometimes I want to cry.

She says she’s tired of life.

Maybe I am too.

Every path, she’s taken

There’s nothing to start anew

I guess I am just human

And I’ll make my own mistakes

I can’t save everybody

I don’t have what it takes

To be a hero.

Short story: The Sinister Lagoon

Disclaimer: This was written for a short story contest.

The Sinister Lagoon

“Attention all Springland County residents,” the radio announcer’s voice barked loudly, “we have just received word of an escaped prisoner from the Eastfall Prison. Investigators are not positive precisely when the escape happened, but they believe it was within the last few days. Springland County Sheriff Eric Shaw has issued a warning to all those residing in both Springland County and nearby areas. Please be advised that prisoner Madeline Dunn is considered both armed and very dangerous. If you see her, do not approach her. We repeat, do not approach her. Call the police immediately. Thank you all for your time. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

“Awesome,” she heard Jace say. “We could use some excitement around here.”

“Wait, wasn’t she that chick who killed her cheating fiancé or something like that?” Curtis asked.

“Oh right, I heard she shot him like eighty times or something,” Madison chimed in.

“Great,” Chelsea groaned from the sandbar as she adjusted her tanning position, “just what we need – some unhinged psycho running around.”

Curtis jetted out of the water and sat down beside Chelsea.

“Aw, what’s wrong, Chels? You scared?” He questioned in a mocking tone. Then he leaned in closer and attempted to cop a feel. “Need me to protect you?”

Chelsea pushed his arm away in disgust.

“You wish.”

You okay, Avery?” Jace asked as he swam cautiously towards her. It was unusual for Avery to be so silent. She was the girl who could barely go five minutes without uttering a sound. Except for now that is. There was nothing emitting from her except for an eerie silence. No, she wanted so badly to say, she wasn’t okay. After all, there was a known murderer lurking around. How could any of them feel safe right now? Or at least safe enough to be out in the open with little to no protection. She was terrified, absolutely terrified. But she couldn’t let Jace know that. Not popular, charismatic Jace who all the girls in school wanted. Not the Jace that she unexpectedly bagged. Not the Jace she never deserved in the first place.

Avery simply nodded her head in response to his question. Her body stilled as she felt him get behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. His constant cinnamon scent wafting into her nostrils; his hot breath on her neck. It was all she could do to keep her composure.

“You’ll be safe in my bed tonight,” Jace said in the huskiest of voices. “I promise.”

Avery removed herself from his grip long enough to turn around to face him. Then she pulled him into a passionate kiss.

“Okay, seriously, get a room you two,” Madison said from a few feet away.

“We already have one,” Jace responded jokingly as he broke the kiss.

“Then use it.”

“We should be thinking about heading out anyway, bro. We’re seriously low on beer,” Curtis informed his friend.

“And we can’t let that happen, can we Curtis? Heaven forbid there’s no beer.”

“Screw you, Chelsea.”

Jace gave Avery an apologetic look, one she knew all too well. One that said he had to back up his friend.

“Curtis is right. We’ll go for a beer run and you girls can start dinner.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” Chelsea replied, giving the boys a sarcastic thumbs up.

Jace started to paddle to shore as Madison sidled up alongside Avery.

“Know what I don’t get? Why did she shoot him? Why not just go for his bank account or his reputation instead?”

Avery heard Chelsea snort. “Because cheaters don’t care about their reputations. And he probably was broke. No, she was right in serving up some revenge; however, she was wrong in the way she doled it out. She should have killed them both. I mean, why does the other woman get a free pass?”

Madison shot Avery a shocked look to which Avery responded merely with a shrug. That was Chelsea. Unfiltered, but loyal.

“You don’t know the whole story, Chelsea. Maybe she was lied to as well.” Madison’s voice quivered. “Maybe she thought he was going to leave his girlfriend.”

 Chelsea rolled her eyes. “You’re so naïve. I’m sure the two of them were going to live blissfully and unfaithfully ever after.”

“Maybe they were.” It came out barely as a whisper, but Avery heard it nonetheless. She slowed her pace and allowed Madison to walk in front of her. When Madison realized Avery was no longer next to her, she turned around.

“You coming, Aves?”

Avery nodded. “I’ll be there in a second.”

And then she watched them gather their belongings from the ground and head back to the main cabin. She felt sick to her stomach. How stupid could she be? It had been right in front of her face all along. The texts Jace would get and suddenly delete. The way Madison hung on his every word. The quick and darted looks in the hallway at school. They needed to pay for humiliating her this way. Stepping out of the swimming hole, she picked up her bag which had been situated on the rainbow colored beach chair. Sticking her right hand in, she fumbled through it until she felt the item she had so desired. Her lips formed into a smirk as her fingers ran across the sharp blade of the knife. It was poetic justice really. Avery had never seen it coming. And now neither would they.

Original Writing: Poem # 2 – She’s Okay

She’s Okay

They all look at her as an example of greatness

she’s never let them down

and she stands there, mask hiding her face

so they don’t see her frown

I’m okay, she states

but nobody seems to hear

I’m okay, she assures

but she’s not, she fears

She writes down these words to escape the pain

her bruises are all hidden well

she tries and tries but has lost the flame

she’s been expelled from hell

She tries to be the good one




but none of this seems to matter

she just wants it all to end

But nobody understands

Nobody even tries

All they see is smiles

Even when she cries

All they see is truth

When all there is are is lies

She’s Okay

She’s Okay they say

But she’s not

So why even try?

Original Writing: Poem #1

Hello, ya’ll. So, normally I use this blog as a book review sort of thing, but I want to evolve it into something more. I figured I would start posting some poetry I have had lying around:


It’s okay,

you said what you needed to say,

forget the hurt feelings

left in the wake.

Are you unburdened now

do you feel safe?

It’s funny how quickly

the tables change.

Because now it’s me

left out in the cold.

Funny, you’re suddenly so silent now

Now that you have had your chance.

But it’s okay.

You said what you needed to say.

Conscience cleared

what a relief

No need to hide

who you are.

If I’ve made you feel bad

you’ve evened the score

this is no longer friendship,

it’s an all out war.

Who knows

maybe all of this will fade away

get erased


At least now

you feel heard

but let me ask, “friend”

what was the price?

No, you know what?

It’s okay.

You said what you needed to say.